we have pet lesbian snakes
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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