btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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