Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
