:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
