The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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