I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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