why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
