i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm at about main and main street
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
