Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i dont even know how to be here
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
