I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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