I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize