Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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