____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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