Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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