Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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