Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize