I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
