Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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