You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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