Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
