you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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