you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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