can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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