I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
