i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
