I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
