is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
