WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize