i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
