so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
