so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
