So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
