Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize