I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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