i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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