I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
