Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
