This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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