i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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