Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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