if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize