I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
