I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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