when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
look no pants
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
