Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
