Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
