woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
