Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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