how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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