I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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