i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize