On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
