dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's the barista slut.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
