Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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