words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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