Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
