just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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