oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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