yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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